A reader wrote to me a few weeks ago and asked if I ever hear from people who are near the end of retirement. The reader wanted to know what those people wish they had done differently. I did not have a good answer. I am a stay at home mom of three kids and a former teacher. I am nowhere near retirement. So I did the only thing I know how to do. I put the question on the blog and asked readers who are late in their retirement years to write back. I asked them to tell me plainly what they regret. I promised not to clean up the answers.

The replies to my question about retirement regrets came in all week. I read them at my kitchen table each night after my kids were asleep and my husband had gone up to bed. Some were short. Some were long and typed with the caps lock on. Almost every reply said the same few things in different words. I picked five readers whose answers stayed with me. Each reader gave me a first name, an age, and a town, and said I could share the words here. A few readers asked me to leave out their last names, so I used only the initial. I have kept every quote as it was sent to me.

Reading the retirement replies at my own table changed how I looked at my ordinary week. My husband worked late most of the week. Our oldest had a project due. Our youngest had a cold. I kept my phone on the counter during dinner and read the newest replies between clearing plates and checking homework. Nothing special happened at my house. Still, every reply matched some small moment with my husband or my kids, and I wrote those moments down next to the regrets. I am not retired and I am not an expert on aging. I am a mom who read a stack of honest letters and wants to pass them along. Here is what people at the end of retirement told me they regret.

Make the visit while you can still make it

This week I asked readers near the end of retirement what they regret. I read the replies at my kitchen table each night after my kids were asleep. A reply came from Walter M., 79, of Toledo, Ohio. Walter wrote, “I told my brother we would drive out next summer. I said that for most of a decade. Now I cannot drive and my brother cannot hear well enough to talk on the phone. I would give a great deal for that trip.” I put my phone down and sat there for a while. I have a friend from my teaching days who I keep meaning to see. Our youngest was a baby the last time we sat down together. The next morning I texted my friend and we picked a Saturday. Waiting for a better season is how a visit never happens. Pick the day now.

Take care of your body before it stops you

This week I collected replies from readers who are late in retirement and asked what they regret. Joanne K., 74, of Spokane, Washington, wrote about her health. Joanne wrote, “I spent my working years sitting and my retirement years meaning to walk. I skipped checkups because I felt fine. My knees and my heart gave out before my plans did. Go to the doctor while there is still something to fix.” I read that reply on Wednesday night with a sore back from carrying laundry baskets up the stairs. I had skipped my own checkup in the spring because the kids had a stomach bug that week. On Thursday morning I called and booked it. My husband walked with me after dinner that night while our oldest watched the younger kids. Feeling fine today is not a reason to skip the appointment. Book it anyway.

Spend some of the money while you can still enjoy it

This week I asked readers at the end of retirement what they regret, and I read every reply at my kitchen table. Richard T., 81, of Scottsdale, Arizona, wrote about money. Richard wrote, “My wife and I saved every dollar we could. We never took the Alaska cruise. Now my wife is gone and I have more in the bank than I can ever use. I would trade most of it for a dinner out with her.” I thought about that while I folded towels. My husband and I have put off a weekend away since before our middle one was born. We always find a cheaper way to spend the money. That night we sat on the couch and looked at a cabin a few hours from home. Saving for later only works if later comes. Spend some of it on living now.

Keep something that is yours to do each day

This week I collected replies from readers late in retirement about what they regret. Phyllis D., 77, of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, sent a long reply about the quiet after work ended. Phyllis wrote, “I retired from the bank and waited for the fun to start. The days got very long. I wish I had started something small while I was still working, so it would be waiting for me.” I read that on Friday night. My kids need me every minute. The warning stayed with me. I have dropped most of what was mine since I left teaching. On Saturday I took a book to the library and read for a while without a child beside me. My husband had the kids at home. Being needed by other people is not the same as having something of your own. Keep something that is yours.

Say the hard thing while the person can still hear it

This week I asked readers near the end of retirement to tell me what they regret. I read the last of the replies on Sunday night at my kitchen table. Leonard S., 83, of Grand Rapids, Michigan, wrote about his son. Leonard wrote, “My boy and I had a falling out over money when he was young. We both waited for the other to call. He died before I did and I never said I was sorry. Do not wait on pride. It does not get smaller with time.” I closed my laptop and went upstairs. My husband was reading in bed. My husband and I had been short with each other since Tuesday over something small about the car. I said I was sorry for how I had spoken. My husband said the same. It took a minute. Pride fixes nothing while you wait. Say the hard thing tonight.

Those are the regrets that came up over and over in the replies I read this week from readers at the end of retirement. No reader wished for a bigger savings account or a cleaner garage. Every reply was about people, health, time, and words left unsaid. I am not retired and I do not know what my own list will look like someday. I only know that reading honest letters from people near the end of retirement changed what I did with an ordinary November week. I made a coffee date with an old friend. I booked a checkup. I looked at a cabin with my husband. I apologized before I felt ready to. None of it cost much. If you are near the end of retirement, or you love someone who is, what is the thing you would tell a younger person not to put off?