My mom came to stay with us for a long weekend in November. My three kids had been counting down for days. I spent most of that weekend in the kitchen or on the couch, watching how my kids acted around my mom, and I started writing down what I saw.

I am not a grandparent. I am a stay at home mom and a former teacher, and I only know this topic from the other side. But I also asked readers of this blog who are grandparents what their grandkids do that tells them they are the favorite. A few of those answers are included below.

Here are ten signs I noticed that weekend. Each one is a small moment from my own house. If your grandkids do any of these, you are probably more loved than you realize.

The kids run to the door before the car is in the driveway

On the Friday my mom arrived for a weekend visit, my kids heard the car on the street before I did. Our youngest was already at the window. Our middle one had the front door open before the engine turned off. Our oldest, who is usually too cool for this kind of thing, stood on the porch in socks with no shoes.

My mom had not even gotten out of the car. My kids were already talking at once about school and a loose tooth and a book report.

Grandkids who wait at the door are not being polite. They are excited. That excitement is the plainest sign of all.

The kids save their news for that grandparent

That first night of my mom’s visit, our middle one told a long story about a kid at school who got in trouble on the bus. I had heard nothing about this story all week. I asked why it never came up at dinner. The answer was simple. Our middle one wanted to tell Grandma first.

It stung for a second. Then I understood. My kids were not hiding things from me. They were holding on to the good stories for the person they knew would react the right way.

If your grandkids save their news for you, it means they trust how you listen. That is worth more than any gift.

The kids ask for the same small traditions every visit

My mom plays a card game with my kids every single time my mom visits. It is not a fancy game. It is the same deck of cards and the same kitchen table. On Saturday morning our oldest brought the cards down before breakfast was even on the table.

A reader of this blog, Helen R., 68, from Dayton, Ohio, wrote this about her own grandkids. “They never want anything new from me. They want the pancakes I always make and the walk to the same park. The repeat is the point.”

When grandkids ask for the same thing every time, they are asking for you. The tradition is just the excuse.

The kids want that grandparent for bedtime

Bedtime in my house is usually my job or my husband’s job. During my mom’s weekend visit, our youngest asked for Grandma to read the bedtime story. Then our middle one asked too. My husband and I ended up standing in the hallway with nothing to do.

I peeked in. My mom was sitting on the edge of the bed, doing voices for every character. My kids were quiet in a way they almost never are at bedtime.

Bedtime is when kids are tired and honest. If your grandkids ask for you at that hour, you have a special place in their minds.

The kids repeat that grandparent’s sayings at the table

My mom has a handful of phrases she says all the time. One of them is a reminder about finishing what is on your plate. On Sunday, I heard our oldest say that exact phrase to our youngest at lunch, in the same tone of voice my mom uses.

Our youngest laughed. Then our youngest said it back. By the end of the meal all of my kids were saying it to each other.

Kids repeat what they admire. If your grandkids are borrowing your words, they are carrying you around with them when you are not there.

The kids tell that grandparent things they keep from everyone else

Sunday afternoon, during my mom’s visit, our oldest sat on the back steps with my mom for a long time. I did not interrupt. Later, my mom told me our oldest had been worried about a friendship at school. I had noticed a mood all week but could not get a word out of our oldest about it.

My mom did not push. My mom just sat there and waited, and the worry came out on its own.

Grandkids often talk to a grandparent about things they will not say to a parent. If that is happening with you, it means you feel safe to them.

The kids make things for that grandparent without being asked

On Saturday afternoon of my mom’s visit, our middle one disappeared upstairs for a while. When our middle one came back down, there was a folded piece of paper with a drawing of the whole family, including my mom in the middle.

Nobody asked for a drawing. There was no school assignment and no birthday. Our middle one just wanted my mom to have it.

A reader, Gloria P., 71, from Tucson, Arizona, told me this. “My fridge has more of my grandson’s drawings than my own kids ever gave me. He mails them. He is nine and he mails them.”

A gift with no reason behind it is a pure sign of affection.

The kids argue over who sits next to that grandparent

Every meal during my mom’s weekend visit turned into a small negotiation. Our youngest wanted the chair next to Grandma. So did our middle one. Our oldest pretended not to care but moved a plate to the other side of my mom’s seat before anyone noticed.

I ended up making a rotation on a sticky note so the fighting would stop. My husband thought that was funny. It worked.

Kids do not fight over seats near people they feel neutral about. If your grandkids are competing to be close to you, that is a sign worth noticing.

The kids ask about the next visit before the car is packed

On Monday morning, while my mom was still eating breakfast, our youngest asked when Grandma was coming back. My mom had not even brought the suitcase downstairs yet. Our middle one asked if Christmas counted as soon.

I could see it was hard for my mom to answer. Goodbyes are harder when the kids make it clear they want more time.

A reader, Frank D., 66, from Albany, New York, wrote this. “My granddaughter asks for the next date before I leave. I started putting it on her calendar so she can see it. Then she stops asking and just counts.”

Asking about the next visit is a child’s way of saying the visit mattered.

The kids ask to call that grandparent on a plain weekday

The week after my mom’s visit, on a Wednesday with nothing special going on, our oldest asked if we could call Grandma. There was no news to share. Our oldest just wanted to talk.

My kids do not ask to call people very often. Most of the time I have to remind them to say thank you for a gift or to wish someone a happy birthday. This was different. It came from them.

I handed over the phone and left the room. The call lasted a long time.

A phone call with no reason behind it is one of the clearest signs a grandparent is a favorite.

I wrote these down during one weekend with my mom and my kids, and I am still thinking about them. None of these signs cost money. None of them come from big trips or expensive presents. They come from listening, showing up, and doing the same small things over and over until a child counts on them.

If you are a grandparent, I hope you saw yourself in at least a few of these. If you are a parent like me, I hope you noticed the same things in your own house.

Which of these signs have you seen from your own grandkids, or from your kids with their grandparents?