My mom came to stay with us for a week in early December. She had a checkup she had been putting off, and the office was closer to our house than to hers. My husband picked her up on a Sunday afternoon, and my kids had her coat off and her bag upstairs before the car door was even shut.

A few weeks before that visit, I had asked readers of this blog who are past sixty a simple question. What would you put on a checklist for living your best life right now? The replies came in all week while my mom was here. Every night, after my kids were asleep and my husband had the news on in the other room, my mom and I sat at the kitchen table with a cup of tea and read them together.

I am a former teacher and a stay at home mom. I am not in this stage of life yet. But I watched my mom for a week, and I read what readers wrote, and the two matched up more than I expected. Here is the checklist that came out of that kitchen table.

Move your body every single day, even a little

The morning after my mom arrived, I found her at the back door at seven with my youngest. The two of them were bundled up to walk to the mailbox and back. It was cold and gray and the mail had not even come yet. My mom said the walk was the point, not the mail.

George L., 67, from Peoria, Illinois, wrote nearly the same thing. “I do not run. I do not lift anything heavy. I walk around the block every morning before coffee, and on the days I skip it my whole mood is off.” My mom nodded when I read that one out loud.

The takeaway is plain. A short walk every day does more for you than a big workout you keep planning and never do.

Keep one friend who will tell you the truth

On the Tuesday of my mom’s visit, her phone rang during dinner. My mom stepped into the hall to take it, and I could hear her laughing through the door. When she came back she said it was her oldest friend, calling to tell her she was being stubborn about something. My mom did not seem upset. My mom seemed glad.

Barbara N., 72, from Savannah, Georgia, sent this reply. “I have lost a lot of people. The friend I guard most is the one who tells me when I am wrong. Everyone else is just being polite.” I thought about my own friends when I read that, and about which ones would say the hard thing.

The takeaway is simple. Keep close to the people who are honest with you, because they are rare.

Learn one new thing each year

One evening during the week my mom stayed with us, our oldest sat beside her on the couch with a tablet. Our oldest was teaching my mom a word game. My mom kept pressing the wrong spot and groaning, and our oldest kept patiently showing the right one again. By the end of the night my mom had won a round and did a small cheer.

Donald F., 65, from Fort Collins, Colorado, wrote about this. “Every January I pick one thing I do not know how to do. One year it was bread. One year it was the guitar, badly. It keeps my brain awake, and my grandkids think it is funny.”

The takeaway is clear. Pick something new to learn and let yourself be bad at it for a while.

Say yes to invitations more than you say no

Midweek, a neighbor stopped by to drop off a plate of cookies and mentioned a holiday craft night at the community center. The invitation was really for me. My mom asked if she could come too. The neighbor said of course. My mom went, and she came home with a lopsided wreath and a new acquaintance’s phone number.

Phyllis A., 74, from Scranton, Pennsylvania, said this in her reply. “After my husband passed, I said no to everything for a year. Nobody kept asking. Now I say yes first and figure out the details later. It is the only reason I still have a social life.”

The takeaway is plain. Saying yes keeps the invitations coming, and saying no too often makes them stop.

Write down what you want your money to do

One night during the week my mom was with us, she and my husband sat at the kitchen table with a folder of papers. My mom wanted a second set of eyes on a few bills and a form from her bank. My husband asked her one question. What do you want this money to do for you? My mom had to think about it before she answered.

Raymond C., 69, from Chandler, Arizona, wrote something that fit. “I spent my whole life saving and never once wrote down what for. Once I wrote it down, I stopped feeling guilty about spending on the things that were actually on the list.”

The takeaway is simple. Decide on paper what your money is for, so spending it stops feeling like a mistake.

Get the checkup you keep putting off

The main reason my mom came to stay with us that week was an appointment. My mom had been putting it off for a long time, and the office near us had an opening. I drove her, and I sat in the waiting room with a magazine. On the way home my mom admitted she had been nervous and that the nerves were worse than the visit.

Eleanor W., 70, from Bangor, Maine, sent this. “I avoided the doctor for years because I did not want bad news. The thing I finally caught was small because I finally went. Waiting would have made it big.”

The takeaway is plain. The appointment you are dreading is almost always easier than the dread.

Keep your hands busy with something you can finish

One afternoon during my mom’s visit, our middle one came home with a button missing from a coat. My mom had the sewing kit out before I could find it. She sat by the window and sewed the button back on while our middle one watched. It took a few minutes. My mom looked more satisfied than she had all day.

Harvey T., 76, from Dubuque, Iowa, wrote this. “Big projects wear me out now. I keep a drawer of small things I can fix or build in an afternoon. Finishing something with my hands is the best medicine I have found.”

The takeaway is simple. Small tasks you can actually finish give you a daily sense of being useful.

Forgive the people who are never going to apologize

On a weeknight while my mom was staying with us, my kids had a loud fight over a board game. One of them stormed off and the other refused to say sorry. My mom watched it play out and then said quietly to me that waiting for a sorry can take up your whole life. She did not explain more, and I did not ask.

Joyce B., 71, from Shreveport, Louisiana, put it this way. “I spent years waiting for an apology that was never coming. The day I decided to let it go without the apology, I slept through the night for the first time in ages. The other person never knew.”

The takeaway is plain. Forgiveness is for your own rest, not for the other person’s benefit.

Spend time with people younger than you

One of the best moments of the week my mom stayed with us happened on the living room floor. My mom was down on the rug with our youngest, building a block tower that kept falling over. Both of them were laughing every time it fell. My mom did not get up quickly afterward, but she did not complain either.

Alvin R., 78, from Tacoma, Washington, wrote about this. “Most of my friends only talk to people their own age. I volunteer at the elementary school. The kids ask me things nobody else asks. It keeps me from getting stuck in my own head.”

The takeaway is simple. Younger people pull you into the present, and that is good for you.

Simplify your home before someone has to do it for you

One night while my mom was staying with us, she mentioned that she had cleared out a closet at her own house the month before. She said she had labeled a box with my name on it so I would not have to guess someday. It was a hard thing to hear at the kitchen table, but she said it calmly, like it was just another chore.

Marjorie H., 73, from Rochester, New York, sent a reply about the same idea. “I watched my sister’s kids spend a summer clearing her house. I decided my kids would not have to. Every month I give away one box. It feels like a gift to them.”

The takeaway is plain. Clearing your home now is kinder than leaving it for the people who love you.

Keep a reason to get up in the morning

Every morning of the week my mom stayed with us, I came downstairs to find the coffee already made. My mom was up before everyone, packing lunches for my kids and wiping the counters. I told her she did not have to. My mom said she liked having a job to do before the house woke up.

Leonard P., 68, from Billings, Montana, wrote this. “The first year after I retired, I slept until ten and felt awful. Now I feed the neighbor’s chickens at dawn. It is not glamorous. It gets me out of bed, and that turns out to be the whole trick.”

The takeaway is simple. A small morning job gives the whole day a shape.

Tell your family the stories before you forget them

At dinner one night during my mom’s visit, our oldest asked what school was like when my mom was young. My mom told a story none of us had heard before. My husband put his fork down to listen. My kids asked questions until the food got cold. Later my mom said she had almost forgotten that story herself.

Dorothy K., 75, from Wichita, Kansas, sent this reply. “I started telling my grandkids one story every Sunday call. Some of them I had not thought about in decades. If I do not tell them, they are gone with me.”

The takeaway is plain. Your stories only survive if you say them out loud to someone who will remember.

Protect your sleep like it matters

On the last night of the week my mom stayed with us, my husband and I were still up watching a show at nine. My mom said goodnight and went upstairs. She did not apologize for it. In the morning she was rested and we were not.

Vernon S., 66, from Sioux Falls, South Dakota, wrote about sleep. “I used to brag about getting by on five hours. Now I treat bedtime like an appointment. Same time every night, no screen in the room. My mood, my memory, and my knees are all better for it.”

The takeaway is simple. Going to bed on time is not laziness. It is maintenance.

Say what you are grateful for out loud

When my husband loaded my mom’s bag into the car at the end of her week with us, my mom stopped him on the porch. She thanked him for the drive, for the help with her papers, and for putting up with her in the kitchen. My husband looked a little embarrassed and very pleased. My kids heard it, and I think it mattered that they did.

Irene M., 77, from Knoxville, Tennessee, closed her reply this way. “I used to feel grateful and keep it to myself. Now I say it to the person’s face. It costs nothing, and people light up every single time.”

The takeaway is plain. Gratitude that stays in your head does not help anyone, so say it.

That is the checklist that came out of a week at my kitchen table with my mom and a stack of reader replies. None of it is complicated. Most of it is just small daily choices that are easy to skip. I am not in that stage of life yet, but I watched my mom live almost every item on this list without ever calling it a checklist.

I would like to hear from you, whether you are past that age or just paying attention to someone who is. Which item on this list is the one you keep putting off?